[A sannyasin says that he is fed up with his mind. I feel I’m never here and I never see anything at all. I try everything: I try meditation, I try to be aware, But often I don’t feel it. Osho checks his energy.]
Osho – Two things to be remembered…. One: don’t try to stop it. That’s how you are creating the whole problem; don’t try to stop it. It is very natural to you; you will go crazy if you try to stop it. It will be like a tree trying to stop its leaves; the tree will go mad. The leaves are very natural to it.
You are a mind person. If you try to become a heart person you will create so much trouble for yourself, and unnecessarily, because there is a way which goes from the mind itself. There is no need to change yourself into a heart person, mm? That will be against your intrinsic nature. Always listen to your nature, follow your nature. To be natural is to be religious, and to be utterly in tune with your nature is all that is needed. So the first thing: don’t try to stop your thinking; it’s perfectly good.
The second thing: just not stopping will not be enough; the second is to enjoy it. Play with it! It is a beautiful game. Playing with it, enjoying it, welcoming it, you will start becoming more alert of it, more aware of it. But that awareness will come very very indirectly; it will not be an effort to become aware. That’s what you have been doing: you are trying to become aware. Then the mind distracts you and you become angry with it. You feel that this is an ugly mind and it is constantly chattering; you want to be silent and it doesn’t allow you. So you start feeling inimical towards the mind. That’s not good; that is dividing yourself into two. Then you and the mind become two and conflict and friction start. All friction is suicidal because it is your energy being wasted unnecessarily. We don’t have that much energy to waste in fighting with ourselves. The same energy has to be used in joy.
So forget about being aware: rather, start enjoying the thought process. Just see the nuances of thoughts: how they take turns, how one thing leads to another, how they get hooked with each other. It is really a miracle to watch. Just a small thought can take you to the farthest end, and if you look you don’t see any connection. A dog starts barking and your thought process is triggered. The dog is forgotten; you remember a friend who had a beautiful dog. Now you are off! Then the friend is forgotten; you remember the friend’s wife who was beautiful, and so you go on, and then other women…. Where you will end, nobody knows; and it all started with a dog barking!
Just watch and see the association of thought – how thoughts are linked, chained with each other – and enjoy it, let it be a game. Play it deliberately, and you will be surprised: sometimes just enjoying it, you will find those beautiful pauses I talk about. Suddenly you will find that the dog is barking and nothing is arising in your mind, no chain starts. The dog goes on barking and you go on listening; no thought arises. Small gaps will arise, but they are not to be produced. They come on their own, and when they come, they are beautiful. In those small gaps you will start watching the watcher; but that will be natural. Again thoughts will start and you will enjoy it. Go on easily, take it easy. Awareness will come to you but it will come indirectly.
Watching, enjoying seeing thoughts taking their turn is as beautiful as seeing the sea with millions of waves. This too is a sea, and thoughts are waves. But people go and enjoy the waves in the ocean and they don’t enjoy the waves in their consciousness. I teach you to enjoy everything, otherwise we go on finding something or other to fight with. Mm? somebody is fighting with sex and somebody is fighting with anger, and somebody starts fighting with thinking, and somebody starts fighting with emotions and somebody with the body. But one thing is the same: they all fight. And to fight is to destroy yourself. There is no need to fight – love! All fighting energy has to be transformed into love
So in the time you are here, forget about it. Even if I go on talking against the mind, remember: I am not talking to you! Otherwise you will collect clues…. And every day I go on talking against the mind. Allow me to talk but don’t get caught in it. Just enjoy it, and soon things will start changing.
Source – Osho Book “Don’t Bite My Finger, Look Where I’m Pointing”